Gary is a spiritual teacher and healer who had finally launched Inward Voyage after years as a practitioner.
He had written all his website copy for Inward Voyage, but he was worried he was using too much “jargon” and losing his audience. He also felt unsure if he was speaking straight to the heart of his clients’ pain points or if he was being too ambiguous about what he “actually does.”
Launching his business amid the COVID-19 pandemic meant that his website had to double the work: Make potential clients confident he could help them, even before they could meet him and experience his calm persona for themselves!
This is where my Copywriting Tune-Up came in.
On the right you can see the final home page after he implemented the edited copy. ➡️
Below, you can click to see screenshots of the original copy he had written. ⬇️
To help Gary’s target clients feel confident he could help them (even online, during a global pandemic). It was also important to ensure what Gary “actually does” is clear for his clients and drive them directly to booking a first call with him. My goal was to have Gary’s clients feel like they were being deeply seen and understood, so they are activated to take the next step. I also had to make sure to keep Gary’s voice intact, since his service is so personal!
My approach was to…
-Remove the jargon where it didn’t serve the message
-Up the empathy factor by driving home his client pain points
–Streamline the strategy of the first few paragraphs to go from Pain-Agitate-Solution
-Make the call to action clearer and more compelling, so people know exactly what to do next
-Edit Gary’s About page so that it feels cohesive and meaningful
Here’s what he said:
“Krista’s ability to bring clarity and impact to your website is GENIUS!
Most importantly, she knows how to discover the “genius” behind your brand… and reveal your unique voice to the world!
Gary Schultz, Inward Voyage